time check its 2am...

and here i am with u dearest blog...

my mind is like in a blender

all mix up

urrgghh!

firstly:

THE BREAK UP

i broke up with rashid

the longest relationship i ever had

11months and it ended just lyk dat

it all happen ard november last year

when i realise everything seems

empty..when he worked and

have barely anytime left for me

looke,im feeling lonely

and that loneliness have drift us apart

when we actually meet up

when he hugged me i just dun feel

the love.its have become merely a hug.

kisses dun sets me into cloud nine anymore

i know at tat very moment we have lost it all.

oh blame it on me.

but put urself in my shoes.

eventhough dosent fit,

i cried when i miss him

when senses telling me its silly to cry

i stand on my own feet and go tru days

of loneliness alone

i froze my hearts tats when i tell myself

dun nid him anymore

ouh ya,

mom is back to working dat tym

so i was busy with family commitment

as im the elder sister

most of the responsibility goes to me

so i hardly have time for

rashid when he ask me

i keep saying no coz i have lotsa work to do

partly his to balme too

he just no as understanding as when we

we first get to know each other

and when im stress out or troubled or just need to chill

he either not there or he just dont fill

in my emotional needs

i admit i was sad coz i dun wanna lose a great guy like him

he did take care of me

give watever i like

put up with my obnoxious behaviour

willing to give up his pide and ego just for me

but i dun wanna hold him back becoz of promises

i dun wanna be in a position whereby im next to him but i wasnt actually

dere,do u guys get wat i mean

my point is he deserve someone better,betol tak Dee?

im letting him go...

it hurts now

but its better then letting things drag on

when feelings went cold.

it wasnt only hard for him its hard for me too

u cant possibly be with someone tat long

and say ur moving on tommorrow

when i sat in the bus on a long ride home

my mind will go like

wat his doing now?

had his luch or not?

is he doing fine?

and tears just flow

we stay as bestfriend

im so happy he ok with dat

feeling faded and when it goes tru the test of time

i fail badly.

my situation

*hugs*

secondly:

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

hehe..

i noe lah its like 1 week already

but was busy to update blog

on the eve of new year's day

i sat at home doing nutting

coz rashid asked me out (tat tym havent break)

with buddy,apiz and grilfriend,wani.

but last min all cancle plan,

so my mood got sucky

and everyone's invitation to celebrate countdown

together i turn down

so my lil sis bought honey milk tea

and snaks we sat infront of tv

wat the live show of countdown@marina

tru the out the show and the countdown

i was messaging with hafiz the scandal

i say tat i wanna leave him coz i had enuf of

getting hurt by him

he begged and say he cannot leave me

he say im the only one dat can make him happy

and able to step up to his level

and stand his behaviour

and actually layan him at 3 am in the morning

just becoz he caan sleep

but i told him everything was too late

when i ask him if his with me becoz of love or lust

he goes like '39%love,61%lust'

and it make me more upset

i stop messaging im for 10 min then he begged to kol him

we talked crap adn stuff

then he asked me in a serious tone

'b,ur not gonna leave me rite?'

my reply was 'idk'

then he made up all the promises

tat in 2009 he will spent more tym with me

he will give up his gf just for me

but the thing is i had it with his

STMF attitude

nutting change

and the strange thing is

imVERY VERY patient

with him no matter wat he didt

by the time its tym to put down the fone

i made up my mind and say

'i have to leave u soon ur gonna have a gf

and u gonna love her very much and u will forget abt me

wateva we had going on now is not gonna last

we can nvr be together even though tat recently only i get

to feel ur love...when i put down the fone

pls dun msg me or kol..we'll just end it here'

then i heard he mumbling something

it meant for me to hear but i cant excetly make out wat his trying to say

abdul hafiz only mumble when his upset

haha...so i say 'i love u,bye'

and put down he phone.

thirdly:

i watched

GREASE MUSICAL

last friday coz Dee have extra tickets

the show was excellent

DJ,good job buddy two thumbs up!

but it ended quite late

i reach home close to 2

when to eat first lah..

but guess wat!

org utan saw the crew go eat at mr teh tarik after the show

hahaha...suprisingly he recongnise my friend...

fourth:

Blog hoppers

its strange the most unexpecting person

keep and update abt wats going on by reading my blog

whiler the person's blog has change its URL like so many time

scared being tracked down or scared tat ur lil gossips is being read

hahaha....

and i noe got this person google my blog and found it..

hahaha..ur very welcome to read up...

i have nutting to hide

k tats all i think....

errm take care pple!

i love u all..

hehe