i got a few who i wud like to thank (lol feeling2 oscar)..

my BeBelle Darling...
always been there since the day my love life n emotion have been in the mess...
always msging words of encouragement n giving very good advise...i heart u babe! :) bebelle spent alot of time accompanying me in her msg almost everyday and she help me go tru this...

Syirah,She-Rockz..
for always listening me whining,accompany me in school (sit at forum with me and skip class),even when i look like ive been hit by a truck u still laugh along with my cicakgirl moments....
always understand wat i have to say without elaborate explaination... and motivate me and ask me to hold on... she-rockz says 'sara ur love have no bounderies..' oh yeah...

Farq,Fie-Male..
for come to me right after work the min i told her abt my sticky situation....
for buying me food,lotsa it to make me feel better...*hugs* syg kau! even if the day she came i dun talk alot,she just sit dere accompany me lolz...

Ain,NoteBook (hehe) n Dee..;
for being dere....ain always meeting me in the morning for sch...one time look at me crying at mac coz my mind when haywire...hehe dee for msg me and finding out how im doing...

to all the guy friends..
who always trying to make me understand in the point of view of a guy so i know wat Zai's going tru too...

sometime i feel that me and zai alone is not much of a problem...but when people who giving negetive vibe to either of us is causing alot of confusion....if u dun have construtive advise or motivation or suggestion then just keep ur trap shut...as if now the emotional level is not unstable enuf i keep having nonsense from "everywhere"...damn it...leave us alone....im so glad i have few people who actually be by our side for the right reasons...

i am gonna asnwer the bonus qn that wud be weighing on ya peepz mind:

if i wud to choose parents or zai?

i chooso my parents....firstly,parents especially mom they r forgiving people if u dun give up trying they wont give up on u...u say sorry they are more happy to accpet it....if not now..maybe eventually slowly they wud.right bebelle? i love zai but to be nikah i need my father coz he still alive and i cant suke2 hati look for other wali ...and we need our parent's restu...worst2 if i cant be with zai i might as well be alone...

dee say tis,tis morning: 'kite merancang tuhan menentukan...klu dah jodo 10 tahun tunggu pon kte patahbalik n still get married' cudt agree with u more,girl...

i dunno abt the rest of u...but i love BOTH of them,my parents n zai...this qn is very unfair to me do u understand me..it sandwhich me between the two..i can never choose to tell y'all the truth....haiz....

8 years is a long time and yes,anythig cud happen.... who says im confident that everything will stay the same....there will be changes good and bad... thats why as friend u shud doa kan and ur not the religious type just wish we wud be happy now and in the future...


ps: i love u baby,sorry if i hurt u..

i miss u like crazy sia....urrgh...!

grow up reading fairy tale

and went to school to learn literature

like romeo&juliet...

watch movies abt a forbidden love......

and always feel that

couples in that stories were great....

then i was hit with reality

when these story become my story....

its painful to actually live everyday

know that dunno when i can meet my baby,

the love of my life...

:'(

life have to go on..without you physically beside me...but im always in ur heart... there so many 'if'...theres so many worries and we,ourselves are not sure of the future....but im telling u this, i love u very much... it take more than just separating us phsically to break us up.... i'll wait no matter how long it takes....yes,its true that 8 years is a long time and anything cud happen...leave that to god's hands...we'll just try our best to hold on to our love okay b? actually obstacles suppose to make us stronger...and i believe we can make it tru :)

oh. and its NOT stupid to take 'that kinda pic'... and im so not gonna take down 'that kinda pic' in my blogskin too.

stupid or not...when things happen like this then only 'People' make such comment eh... next time want to make such remark make it when something like tis happen didt happen yet.

good day everyone.

school gonna be over in few months.

rejoice or confusion?