---[F].[A].[R].[Q].[U].[E]---

O_o Been going thru a lots of suicidal attempt nowadays *terjon'ism mode on slalu lah sei* keeping quiet to mysef more den rather to speak my mind outs to the pplz. Guess tat my attitude going more FARQUED UP den before. The main priority now is tat aiming for my goals and the bother'ism mode seems to be SLACKING for the pplz. Not tat forgetting bout dem its just tat i don't feel like sharing my tots or stories anymore sia. ~~DON'T BOTHER TO ASK WHY PLZ~~ *i won't lyn as usual*

d ''b Haiyakz! Pplz are getting more hypocrite and taking advantage on others. What the toooot they are trying to proof here? *they are betta??* mampos... The sense of believing and trust is not there in me anymore *wonder why* feel tat pplz are putting faked smiles towards me *or am i being unconfident here??* try to socialize with the pplz but the urge of being anti-social keeps pulling me back ~~TAT'S ME~~ Really not bother by wat others might say bout me. Who the hell care aniway. Can see tat allz are drifting apart and sure i'll miss those days. The momentos now felt strange to me. Doesn't feel the same way as before. Adapting with newbies is wat lifes for but oldies days is wat i prefered most *passing by life* The heavyness of the responsibilities tat i'll hold is getting more and more as days pass. *just believing in fate i suppose*

('',) COMPLICATED this is the word tat suitably decribed my situation here. * i guess*

---[P].[S]---: Don't let wat u can't do interfere wit wat u can do....

Cinta itu adalah perasaan yang mesti ada pada tiap-tiap diri manusia, ia laksana setitis embun yang turun dari langit,bersih dan suci. Cuma tanahnyalah yang berlain-lainan menerimanya. Jika ia jatuh ke tanah yang tandus,tumbuhlah oleh kerana embun itu kedurjanaan, kedustaan, penipu, langkah serong dan lain-lain perkara yang tercela. Tetapi jika ia jatuh kepada tanah yang subur,di sana akan tumbuh kesuciaan hati, keikhlasan, setia budi pekerti yang tinggi dan lain-lain perangai yang terpuji.

Cinta Tidak Pernah Meminta,ia Sentiasa Memberi.Cinta Membawa Penderitaan,Tetapi Tidak Pernah Berdendam,Tidak Pernah Membalas Dendam.Di Mana Ader Cinta DiSitu Ader Kehidupan,Manakala Kebencian Membawa Kepada Kemusnahan

here am i all back to the situation 3 month ago finding myself living life solo and with guys surrounding me...and at the same time fall so hard for someone..yearning for him to be mine...but errm decided to be single for the time being..all becouse of the advise of my bestfriend...maybe i shud reconsider if someone sound me,not just accept quickly... but the thing is only few noes wad going on when i even accept guys...*wink-wink*
finally i pluck dat damn curage to break of wid him....his not the type for my game and his "not at fault" he to ignorent to be treated the way i treated him..he has been good to me but it just that going on means i will hurt him more... he dun deserve to be cheated on..he dun deserve to be left hang without even knowing where he lies in my life....he dun deserve to be busted...despite wanting so much for him to let me go, at one point of time i really thankful tat i ever met him..atleast i knew i already ever found a guy whom i labelled "NOT GUILTY"... he's sweet actually, i pray dat he finally found a girl dat he deserve,that treat him good...a girl dat will appreciate him. his appearences mite make pple labelled him as "matrep"..but his heart and his attitude is not near wat his labelled...
wth....i oni realise i have been writing a paragraph of my ex..aniway wat i write above came from the bottom of my heart and ireally mean it. when i did ask for the break up all he ask was "Why"..and after say out the reason he say "ok.anything u kol me k" and we hang up wid no fites or shouting on da phone..and he didt get angry or emotional.when i was talking to a guy after da call wid him [to ask for break up] ..he msg me : "haix erm have fun kkz i don wan you to be sad but i wont forget our sweet memories"i dun no but i felt he really nice guy despite me asking for the break up he say i'm not to get upset...*sigh* make me feel more guilty..i rather him screaming at me...
im sick of da "Lanang" seeking for attention...come on they are just selfish dun they! i sometime ask why i always meet the wrong kind of "lanang"...
anyway,cant wait to get back to school....i just getting fed up sitting at home doing nothing[besides the housework and entertaining my mom]and money comes when u out to werk or out to school...sian arhh...

ps:.A revengeful mind.A short lived happiness.

~sitting there alone staring at the sky~

life's like hell tiz past few days... really can't help it! kks ppl gettin on my nervez... tiz is too much! enuf is enuf can't u ppl understand? open up ur eyes & see wat creatures you ppl have been... haiyakz! *bloodypull* hhmm... my attitudez sarkz but u ppl more the sarkerz den wat i tot... *cramping my space* more air is needed plz... *get loose ppl, you are not welcome in my fcukin life aniway* wat so eva... ishk!

last week i make the effort to msg tat hunky of mine... got lost at the 1st time round coz not tat confident... *pepahamkan jek plz* but relief in despair... ahakz! *miz him lotz sia* his doin fine... heavy story he got there packing my ears... lolz =p as usual he talk, i just listen... *well see the ppl* as for tat "smackthat", *bam saje yg tau* he is really a bloodsucker... *ehemz, jantan dayus* ahakz! actually minat him frm skool start sia but den its ok i ony can treat him as my fren... tats more like it... kekek if talking wit him... *he more den crappy patty sia* such fun... sharing his lurv story... like eewww so the jiwe2 karatz! can't believe he tat type of person... ishk! so the adinda & kekanda... *yuckzy* wakakakakahakz! but really can't stand him! always bullying me! hmmph! calling me garfield sumore! wat an... *tooOOOoot* but hey no joke no fun kan kan kan so i take it slow go wit the flow & follow the tempo... ewah! =)

*next week goin to polyclinic* it will be great, not tat stressfull as if in the ward... tat stoopid ward! hate it! very the pokez tau the pt mcm ku nak plankong jek suroh TERJON! lolz o_O neh mind passion will go on... we shall see... d ''b




:::*P.S*::: ~I Am Not Afraid Of Storms, For I Am Learning How To Sail My Ship~ o_O

i just wake up.yesturday i was talk to someone lah....til 3++am. another steady proposal.damn.
haiz. the strangest think is when ur attach...alot of pple want to make u his steady but when ur single there not even one idiot will come and try to get ur freaking attention *part ni bam bedek LOL* not dat there not even one lah i mean a few..compare to ur attached ade je yg nak sound *nabei tengteng* he say he love me very much....he get up set when he see me n my guy dat day at the esplanade..SUPRISINGLY! i tot like his stuck wid 'dat girl' at dat gathering then suddenly say jeles..like wtf! nvm lah then i heard alot of thing abt him from da ppl in chat n radio..bende yg errm..tak elok.. but i giving him da chance..abt him asking me to break up wid my guy..well we'll see how..haiz pening2...













nyetian can u help me handle some of da guys can LOL jahat kann aku LOL....ANIWAY! i suspect after tis entery my bro nak kai comp jadi maybe after tis dia tarik modem so...fifa i hand over da blog to u LOL













ps: THE BEST THING U CUD DO FOR URself is to take care of ur self...DUN LOVE SOMEONE UNLESS U LOVE UR SELF FIRST...coz u mite find urself doing stupid stuff for him that u dun even realise its wrong n not fair to u













take care pple

come and find that little girl in me.

DAT DAY SUPPOSE TO MAKE A GATHERING OF ALL 6 NYETIANSZ BUT TOO BAD AFTER WAD HAPPEN THE REPUBLIC LEFT WID 5 PPL...PLAN FOR ALL TO BE AT BOTANIC BUT "SOME PPLE" JUS HAVE TO SPOILT IT..BUT END UP 4 OF US HAD GREAT FUN..BUAT MCM BUGER KING SENDIRI..KETAWA..FUN FGILER...I REALLY ENJOY MYSELF..IMAGINE SATU2 ADE LAIN2 KERENA...TERSASOL LAIN..DIALOG PRAMLEE LAIN..WOLS LAIN KIWAKAKAKAKA...BUT WE MAKE A REALLY SERIOUS DECISION TO LET ONE OF US GO...DAH ROSAK..NO MATTER WAD WE DID DAH TAK LEH SELAMAT KAN....NOT AS IF WE WERE NEVA DERE FOR HER..I GAVE UP ON HER....NO POINT AT ALL TO SPEAK UP FOR HER WHEN SHE NEVA CHANGE...BY LET HER GO ATLEAST IT SAVE UP FROM DA HEADACHE OF THINK ABT HER...YESH PETPET I NOE U WANT LUT TO TURON FOR OUR GATHERING BUT ERRM..OH WELL....LET SEE HOW LAH...

THEN ON DA MONDAY DEE N FIFA COME OVER..COOK FOR 'EM...CHAT A LIL...LISTEN TO SONG DRAW A LIL' ITS ALL GOOD...JUST TOO BAD FAD CANT COME OVER...

OKIESZ..MAIN THING HERE....NYETZ REPUBLIC IS OFFICIALLY 5 GAGSTERS...
LETS MAKE IT CLEARER: Bam*Apez,Fie*Rangtanz,Dee*Chimpanz,Faddy*Gorriz and Lutney Toonsz..


PS:
his wasted so many nights and again
I've wasted so much time on a friend
Too young, too proud to understand
So this is the end

Perfect timing for you
You'll run 'til your legs break
So here's my reminder of you
It meant nothing to me

yeah i love something do wid art...drawing,...taking photo..hairstyling....make up..etc..etc...i tot i wanna go to arts shool...tak kire kat ne lah.....but then when i tok to my mum abt it she dun agree..just becoz i waited da whole yr for nursing coz.....*nabei lah eh* haiz...

Assalamualikom! kiwakakakaka.......ape ke heck?!



aniway got stuck wid dikir barat lah sey got nice werds...let me list a few..part chorus je:



Bersenjatakan Kekata



Kelana masih mencari

walau didalam kegelapan

kerana pantang.... pantang sekali

kita berhenti separuh jalan



Andai dapat ku

putarkan masa

andai dapatku

putar semula..

segala menjadi terang

dan surat sudah

menjadi iktibar

tersirat segala.....



semalam terleka

menarikan pen

semalam rangkaian

bagai mandi darah

teman semlm

bekas tapak tiada

hari ini langkah selesa

hari esok langkah selesa


pena menari diatas tanah
mengarang cerita
cari lah pohon ditanah rata
baik tanam atas gunong

~[peekaboo]~

really havin a fun & enjoyin momentoz wit the nyetianz yesterday... luffin all the way at BK like no one business... "like duh who cares" lolz =p lurp sia tat moment! but donnoe wat the toot we are tokin about sei! "crapy patty" hahax! the sadness & dissapoinment came wen we discuss of gettin rid of sumone tat we all alwayz care about... hhmmm... "can't believe tiz is the way the person treat us after all of our kindness" neh salah sape? salah aku? salah aku? "SALAKAU!!!!" POKEZ...lolz =p come to my senses actually by rite long ago tat person hav to go sia... givin lots of chances but ended up... haish... no more werdz can describe wat the nyetianz felt bout it... last tink to say to tat person, "GI MAMPOZ LAH WITH UR OWN WERLD BLOODY FARKY POKKY!" YEASH AR THE URGE OF GETTIN TAT PERSON OFF FOR SO LOOOONNNGGG HAV COME! tiz is the time bebeh... ahakz... wtf!

~[wokay change the story]~ after tat we all go baybeat lah sei... woohhhoo! so the many2 sia ppl there... & now wat its like the tinggy got one particular concept... "all like emo sia" sedangkan its an inde kind of type.... hello! lolz =p aniway lurv it lah coz mcm2 ragam... "I LLOOOIIIIKKKKEEEE!!!!" WHEEE... feelin like havin a mosh in the middle of the peepz sia but plz ehk wait kene xtra sia... ahakz! haiyak everytink i lurv lah bout yesterday! "senang ckp ar ehk" hehex... den in the blurness nite we saw bunn sei! ahakz tat guy very the bllur sotongz look at us muke stoinkz... hahax! wat ony... wen appreciatin the pharkin songs tat was soooo loud dee sound... "hav to go back lah dei" lolz... yeah we understand undersit bout our frenzoz situation here... =)